i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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