i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
True strength comes from lack of pants
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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