I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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