I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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