ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
