yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
