absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
