my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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