All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
