Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
this boner is exhausting
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
