Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
