Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
