dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
