Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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