You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
