I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
