Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it hurts more in the daytime
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
this hospital has no fireball
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
