I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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