ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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