White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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