I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
