im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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