you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
