Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
