he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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