Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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