If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
