Just fell off a train. Bad.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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