woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
