I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
