Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
