He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
