no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
