im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
