...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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