I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
false alarm. still invincible.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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