You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize