you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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