what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
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You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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