So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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