It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
