question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
