can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
