508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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