My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
