EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
