You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
