so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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