I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
