Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
