your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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