you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
