the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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