I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
