R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
