I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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