Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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