Do you still have your period?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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