i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
