I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
