some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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