threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
