Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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