it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
