Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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